Friday, October 31, 2008

No Birds Were Harmed In The Making Of This Costume (But Some PVC May Have Suffered A Little)

Meredith may never wear an original costume. I have so many left over from both Jamie and Sabrina that she's covered for life. This year she will be either a frog or Tigger, depending which one fits best tonight.

Have you noticed how cheaply made the costumes are and the ever increasing prices for said poorly made costumes? At least when I was a kid the cheap costumes were actually CHEAP.

Do you recall the circa 1975 store bought costumes? A long thin sheet of plastic with the body of Princess Leia, or Mickey Mouse, or Darth Vader printed on one side and the character's rear view printed on the other. With a hole in the middle to stick your head through. To complete the look you had a plastic mask with a elastic band around the back of your head. And if your mask got ripped (which it always did) it had WICKED sharp edges with which to slice your face or poke out your eyeball. Good thing you weren't actually using your eyes to see where you were going.

These masks had holes cut out for your eyes, nostrils and mouth. Rarely did these holes actually line up with your eyes, nose, or mouth, thus ensuring hordes of children stumbling around the street in the dark.

And to top it off, if you lived in Pittsburgh, your Mom probably made you wear your coat over the costume anyway. So really just a bunch of kids in winter coats with brightly printed badly designed plastic covering their eyes tripping over the curbs and steps.

The costume of this type that stands out most in my mind is a Tweety Bird costume.
I'm not even sure it was my costume. It may have been one of my cousins' or possibly a neighbor's.

But for some reason I can still see this (sort of scary now that I'm looking at a photo of it) mask and smell the cheap plastic costume in my mind.

I wonder which costume my children will recall from the depths of their memory some day.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Dusting Off My Soapbox

Am I the only one disturbed by this ad? Never mind the adult dressed as a condescending frog.

Why shouldn't kids want to look at and actually READ the book about frogs?

And why do kids need a little electronic pen to read a book to them? Isn't that what parents are for? Will we now need an electronic device just to READ for Pete's sake?

I have nothing against Spongebob personally. I'm sure he's a really nice sponge and all, other than that laugh that makes my brain feel like it's just been rubbed against a metal cheese grater. But can't my kids (and my poor shredded brain) have a break from him for a nanosecond? Could we possibly just read Goodnight Moon? Or Guess How Much I Love You? Or even Harry Potter? Does it ALWAYS have to be about television, even when it's not television?

Excuse me while I go read Where's Spot by Eric Hill for the bajillionth time today.

I'll never get sick of it.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Speaking Of Genetics

Have you ever had a sinus headache where you seriously consider taking one of those melon baller thingies and shoving it up your nose so you could scrape out some of your brains?

Yeah it's like that.

For two weeks.

I couldn't possibly inherit the fast-metabolism-eat-anything-you-want-pretty-much-until-you're-40 gene from my Dad. Instead I was blessed with his sinuses.

I'll be back when my brains shrink back to their normal size.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Mea Culpa

I'm lame. I know. I leave you with a barely original entry consisting of one word descriptions for things most of you probably couldn't give two hoots about (and why exactly would anyone WANT a hoot anyway?).

And now I am off to be a guest blogger over at "Discover Boo". So come visit me over there! Boo's one of my best friends and if you haven't already, you should read her blog too!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

One Word Challenge

Saw this on a friend's blog (Hi Dani!) and thought it was fun and I'd give it a go since I seem to be a bit dry on the blogging juices today. It's a slight variation on that tired old email someone sends to me at least once a month where you fill in the answers and forward to all your other friends that are also tired of getting THAT email.

Doesn't stop me from forwarding it on though does it?

Your hair? dirty

Your mother? complicated

Your father? safe

Your favorite thing (not including people)? sleep (this seems to be a common theme amongst the Mamas)

Your dream last night? funny

Your dream/goal? longevity

Your favorite drink? coffee

The room you're in? kitchen

Your ex? disappeared

Your hobby? books

Your fear? loss

Where do you want to be in 6 years? elsewhere

Where were you last night? here

What you're not? skinny

Muffins? blueberry

One of your wish list items? house

Time? short

Where you grew up? Bethel

The last thing you did? Wii

Favorite weather? crisp

What are you wearing? frumpy

Favorite book? Avalon

Your TV? average

Your pet? new

Your computer? Dell

Your mood? relieved

Missing someone? Melissa

Your car? Odyssey

Something you're not wearing? socks

Favorite store? Target

Love someone? many

Favorite color/shade? yellow

Last thing you ate? grahams

Your life? full

Your friends? loyal

What are you thinking right now? KITTEN!

What are you doing at this moment? BITTEN!

Your summer? excellent

Your relationship status? married

What do you do when you can't sleep? read

When is the last time you laughed? today

Last time you cried? Saturday

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Idiom Source Discovery

Last night while giving Jamie a bath:

JAMIE: Mama this water is as warm as bath water.

ME: That's because it is bath water honey.

JAMIE: Oh. That makes sense then.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Wrong Species

As you have already seen, my softhearted (and softheaded) husband brought home a 3-4 week old kitten he found yesterday. The dust has settled and I am no longer trying to decide if I want to cuddle a kitten more than I want to wring Dave's neck.

The kitten won but only barely.

I am a new nursing mother again. I am well equipped to cope with this job having done it three times before. And pretty much like a human baby, Hermione is a moving, breathing, (loudly) mewing appetite. However I have found there are some crucial differences between species.

I find those films where they show a dog nursing a kitten, or a cat nursing a squirrel absolutely adorable. I'm all for inter-species fostering, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Kittens teeth are like little needles. Ain't coming anywhere near me with those things!

Furthermore, I will never ever complain about changing a diaper again. Did you know that you have to rub their little bums to make them go? I was growing concerned by Hermione's lack of, er, solid waste so I called the kitty pediatrician (A.K.A. our vet). I was told to vigorously stimulate her bottom with a warm wet towel.

Apparently cats lick their kitten's booty until it makes them do their thing.

I'm sorry but THERE I draw the line.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Apparently I DO Need A Hole In The Head

Meet Miss Hermione Cheezball

Visiting hours at the asylum are from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m., but Doctors feel it best that I delay visitation until my meds kick in.