Thursday, May 7, 2009

My Kitchen Smells Funny - And Other Tales Of A Domestic Diva

This is going to be the title of my book. The one I write someday. Of course then that would be sort of like work and that takes all the joy out of it.

In between reading blogs, checking my email, checking my OTHER email, refreshing Facebook (I undoubtedly have Internet ADD) I ventured into my kitchen to fetch a glass of milk and noticed something smells odd in there.

It is a tribute to my domesticity that I ventured right back out and sat down to blog about it.

Next I think I will tackle the yearly Spring Ant Invasion. I have the world's dumbest ants in my house. They blithely ignore the dog and cat food. They don't even seem interested in any of the crumbs from the kids' breakfast. I have actually watched them walk AROUND a large crumb in their path. In fact they seem to mull aimlessly back and forth every morning until I suck them up with the vacuum cleaner. Perhaps they are suicidal ants?

The truth is, I do clean up in a haphazard lackadaisical manner. My house is neither roach infested (ant invasion notwithstanding) nor dirty, but I do believe that expending any further effort than is absolutely necessary is a waste of my time. I have three small children and to quote Phyllis Diller, "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

Besides I have that ever-needy Internet to attend to.

10 comments:

Judi said...

Amen sistah! I don't have little kids and my house is definitely not tidy! But, that's a whole other blog....
Hey...thanks for your lovely words. I'd rather hear I'm pretty than I have a clean house!
Yes, I'm so vain!!!
Judi

Kim said...

I have kids, including the big one I'm married to - and my house is a mess.

I think IRL, we'd be great friends :)

katiebear said...

AMEN!!!! I declared today clean the house day... so far i cleaned the kitchen counters and the stove. i cleaned the downstairs toilet and sink. and i played outside with my children. The last was the most fun!!

Mount Belly Mama said...

lol - I totally relate. I've had a funny smell in my toilet for AGES. I've done everything from vinegar to finally bleaching. Nothing worked.

Finally, I opened up the back lid and dropped in about 10 drops each of tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil. Now, it smells unbelievably great! But I thought, "Hmm, my next blog will probably be about how I ruined my toiled because I added essential oils to it." lol.

Dani said...

I am a big proponent of "it looks clean"! I spend about 30 minutes a day straightening up and putting things away, so it LOOKS clean.

Of course, when Jaxon has a wad of dog hair in his hand on his way to his mouth, that is my indicator to get the vacuum out.

Mary K Brennan said...

What has this world come to? Ants that don't like crumbs? I remember a time when we could depend on the ants to clean the floor for us.

Irishembi said...

Or at least the dog Mary. Come to think of it, ALL the creatures in my house are useless at cleaning floors!

tbsomeday said...

oh mb--you do make me laugh!! now i feel much better about my less than perfect house--but newly posted blog, lol--priorities! kids are happily eating..do i clean or hop on the internet...hmmmm :)
good luck with the ants! hopefully they are too dumb to breed!
ps--if you get another dog they will be better cleaners...it's a competition then...with just one they are like-eh, i'll wait for something better :)

L said...

I'm baaaaack!!!

xoxoxo!!

with love from Pittsburgh...

~Mrs Sandy~ said...

Just stopping by from SITS and wanted to say hello!
Hugs, Sandy