Friday, February 29, 2008

I Really Ought To Be Pregnant.....

.......if I'm going to be this STUPID!!!! Seriously this is worthy only of the extreme stupidity of pregnancy brain.

Wednesday night I go to get my hair done. I'm all finished and walk up to the front to pay and I go in my wallet to pull out my debit card and it's not there! I'm freaking out internally thinking what the hell am I going to do? I have no cash on me and no way to get any. I have checks but not sure if they'll take them. Luckily however I know my debit card number off by heart (this comes from lots of practice while Internet shopping much to the dismay of my husband) and they were able to plug it in that way.

In the meantime I'm racking my brains trying to figure out what the hell I did with my debit card! I always put it right back in the same spot in my wallet when I pay for something.

So I'm thinking to myself the last time I used it was at Target on Sunday night when I got diapers, wipes, and a few other items. Target has one of those card machines that you actually have to insert your card into rather than swipe it through. I've convinced myself that I must have left it in the machine while checking out.

I was wandering past the check-out aisles actually looking for somewhere to leave my cart so I could run to the bathroom. I had to go pretty bad. Something about all that red at Target must make my intestines go crazy because any time I go to Target, inevitably I have to use the facilities. But a helpful employee mistook my frantic searching for a need for an empty lane and pulled my buggy in and opened up a register. So I decided to just hold it and finish up.

As I farted my way through the transaction, I was certain I was gassing the poor girl so decided my best course of action was to run for it as soon as she handed me the receipt. Of course in my dive for the rest room I had to have left my debit card sitting in the machine. Because I probably couldn't hear its insistent beeping over the sound of my own gas.

Target is on my way home from the hairdresser's so I decide to stop there to find out if they found my card. They have no record of finding a card that night nor were any turned in. And thankfully the girl that checked me out that night wasn't there. She's probably home recovering from methane poisoning.

I go home and call the 1-800 number for my bank to cancel the card. The customer service rep was very kind and helpful. He even went over the last 2 transactions made on the card to be sure nobody had stolen it and used it. The last two transactions being of course, the charge that evening at Shear Talent and a charge on Monday at Chick-Fil-A. Both transactions were OK'd by me as I remembered making them.

Chick-Fil-A? Now why was I at Chick-Fil-A on Monday? Oh that's right. I took the kids through the drive-thru to get lunch after we went to the doctor's and right before we picked up their prescriptions at Walgreen's......

.............where I used my debit card to pay for the prescriptions. And they put said debit card in an envelope and stapled it to the prescription bags.

The same bags that I threw in the garbage right after I emptied them.

Excuse me a moment. I'll be right back after I'm done banging my hollow head on this wall over here.


Kelly said...

i must look like a loon sitting at my computer trying to hold back the laughing... bear in mind that i have a HUGE glass window facing the rest of the office.

i;'m glad you remembered where it was... but i'm so sorry you had to go thru the stress!

Lisa and Liam said...

I think mommybrain with 3 children can get you an excuse for any occasion...don't curse yourself and find you are pregnant again!! LOL!

My only question is: why did they put the debit card in an evelope and staple it to the bag? I have never heard of that before. I would be right with you tossing that one out (or probably recycling).

My verdict is that you are blameless in this fiasco!!

Dani (Zac and Cassidy's Mom) said...

LOL well at least you realized it was in the trash BEFORE it got collected. After Xmas I ran some errands and stopped at McDs on the way home. I had only taken my wallet with me to run the errands, so I threw the wallet in the McD's bag w/the food when I came upstairs. Chuck & I ate our lunches and being the neat freak that he is, he immediately threw the bags away. Of course that was garbage collection night and I didn't miss my wallet til the next day. So I had to replace everything, the only good thing is I only have one credit card and one credit card so it wasn't much to cancel. And I only had $3 plus change. Also I got lucky that I had my license renewal form in the mail earlier in the week, so I didn't have to go through a hassle of replacing that.

Thanks so much for the chuckle and making me hungry for Chik-fila

Norkio said...

Oh MB, that is not prego brain, that is multiple mommy brain! Were you able to get the card back from the trash? Had it already been canceled? What a pain.

Word Verify is evldi, the evil do-er who made you forget about your debit card.

Crap, now I got bcmhm and I'm not clever enough to make a word out of that.

Irishembi said...

This happened Monday. Trash Collection is on Tuesday. I discovered my stupidity on Wednesday. Would have been too late anyway. I already canceled the card......