Look Out Below

A friend of mine saw my college ID the other day. She commented that I must have lost a lot of weight since I was 19.

I agree my face looks remarkably heavy in the ID photo, complete with puffy cheeks, double chin(s) and rather squinty eyes.

I have a feeling the eyes might have had a different explanation though. I'm pretty sure the green stuff in those brownies wasn't spinach. But I swear - I never inhaled. Can I be president now?

But honestly, I weigh about the same now as I did at 19. I've certainly fluctuated up and down since then, but at this point in time, to the best of my recollection, the weight is around the same.

I have a theory that as you age, gravity, in much the same way that it cause wrinkles and sagging boobs, causes all the fat in your body to fall downwards also.

This would explain why my face is no longer so full, but my ass now takes up two zip codes.