Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Not Suitable For Moms

Nyquil how I love thee. Let me count the ways. Thou takest away my snot, if only temporarily. Thou maketh me to, if not stop coughing, at least sleep through it. (This annoyeth the spouse, but he'll get over it - we'll calleth it "P-A-Y-B-A-C-K" for all the snoring) Thou art a magical elixir that can guarantee my sleep even on the worst nights of cold and flu season.

But underneath those warnings about high blood pressure and MAOI's and prostates of the large variety, they really need to offer a warning that you will become completely incapable of giving a shit about your sick children as well.

I was woken by Meredith at 12:00 a.m. when she threw up a little in her crib. But instead of my usual routine of changing her, stripping her bed and putting clean sheets on - I found it completely acceptable to wipe off her hands and face, strip the pillowcase that was the repository of the offending vomit, and turn the pillow over so the dry side faced up, and tell her to go back to sleep.

Oh yes I did.

And somewhere in my Nyquil induced fog, I recall my other daughter visiting in the wee hours to tell me her brand of stomach flu was producing rear emissions and she hadn't quite made it to the toilet. I told her to change her pants and go back to bed.

I'm telling you, I was aware these things were happening, I just couldn't be bothered to actually get up and do anything about it.

In other words, the label should read, "Warning, the consumption of this medication may temporarily turn you into a DAD."


Jackie said...

Hahaha! So if it turns you into a Dad, does that also mean you get to complain about how the kids kept you up all night, even though you didn't do a GD thing about it, and pretended you were still asleep...? LOL, that seems to be the Dad's role around here, anyway. Sorry you're not feeling well, and hope you feel more rested after your Nyquil-induced coma - pass the bottle, I could use a swig of that. I'm not sick, I just crave sleep. And don't worry, your children will survive...I probably would have done the same thing, and wouldn't have had an excuse!

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

You know what, they lived to tell the tale!!!!
Plus,you will be shaking your head when she's in college-- she pukes and turns the pillow over.
Think of it as training for college maybe?

Jenn said...

LOL Don't worry you aren't the only one. Once when she was little and we were both throwing up, I wiped it off the sheets and put a waterproof (with soft top layer) pad over it and put her back to sleep. This was after wrestling the sheets on the mattress 3 other times...we were out!

What is it with dads. I guess it's partly our fault, as moms we can't not get up, so we let them get away with it. I do it every morning... it's your turn, no it's your turn... and I huff and get out of bed. Hope the kiddos get better soon, and pass the Nyquil!

Mary K Brennan said...

No fair. We have to drink medication before we get a day off and Dad's just do it naturally.
Last time the kids and I were sick, I washed the vomit off and Febreezed him.
Feel Better soon!

Norkio said...

I hear ya! I laid a towel down on top of the mattress once, can't remember if I even took the sheet off. I hope you all feel better soon.