Thursday, April 2, 2009

There's Always Another Poop Story

I will admit this story was inspired - or rather I should say the memory was triggered - by my friend Jackie at The Other Side of the Fence. She's got a toddler and an infant right now so she's knee deep in it right now. So to speak.

We used to have "Poop Day". Sabrina has always had problems with pooping regularly even though she was a completely breastfed baby. For those of you that find that remark puzzling, breast milk has a natural laxative effect. Breastfed babies usually poop often. VERY often. As in after every feeding. Considering a breastfed newborn will generally eat approximately twelve times a day, that's a lotta poop.

But Sabrina's usual schedule was to poop every third day.

As in, "Is today Poop Day?"

"No, she's not due until tomorrow."

Every now and then she would stretch it to four, and once it was five days. Talk about your mudslide! Once she literally had poop from her neck to her toes. The sheer volume of poop was astounding for a roughly 7 to 8 pound baby. I was seriously beginning to wonder if she didn't store that stuff down a hollow leg.

She also liked to do it in her car seat for some unknown reason. So "poop day" inevitably also meant "disassemble car seat and excavate poop from molded plastic crevices day" as well. Since the cloth cover to her car seat was listed as hand wash (which I promptly ignored) and line dry (which I didn't since I once shrunk a sweater literally down to doll size) that also meant we were grounded for one day in between while we waited for her seat to dry.

I hereby declare it mandatory that all baby accessories should be machine wash and tumble dry. Up to and possibly including the baby.

Another myth those baby books imprinted on my brain was that breastfed baby poop didn't stink. While it is true that breastfed baby poop does not smell like formula fed baby poop (that stuff can clear a room faster than a Tarantula at an Arachnophobe Convention) it is not the rose petal scented stuff I must have been imagining. In fact it was one of the many things I had on my "Mama List" to discuss with the pediatrician at an early appointment. When I worriedly told him that her poop smells bad, he looked at me perplexedly, blinked a few times, and probably thinking this was the punch line to the other 35 odd questions I had just asked him, he chuckled and said, "Well that's because it's POOP."

Enjoy your Cocoa Puffs for breakfast.

6 comments:

Dani said...

It is amazing that "WHERE" the poop happens matters. Because if they are semi-upright - carseat, exersaucer, etc. that poop escapes up the back of the diaper.

I never thought formula poop smelled bad, I even had a hard time figuring out if they pooped. Once solids were introduced tho, whole new ballgame. And now with a toddler, that stench can be smelled rooms away.

Colleen said...

Maybe non-regular baby pooping is in our family genes. I know Aislinn didn't poop for awhile after birth...my ever-worrying mother was convinced that somehow her intestines were not connected to the rectum...I've never seen such tears of joy over poop when she finally did go. Bobby had the same thing. He was going on 10 days when my mother made me call the pedi. (we were at the beachhouse in S.C.) and ask what we should do. She went out and bought a baby suppository. She walked in the door with it and Bobby's insides exploded out his diaper...massive poop. (guess he just needed us in full panic mode and spending some $$ to make him go)! (and both kids were breastfed.)...

Irishembi said...

Yet another thing to thank those Murray genes for eh? We too were out buying suppositories on Sabrina's first day home from the hospital. One should never have to stick something IN their newborn baby's bottom. Talk about NEW MAMA TRAUMA!

Hot Belly Mama said...

I had a really good laugh at this. THANK YOU! I agree, all products should at least be hoseable and it would be better if they were self-cleaning.

Norkio said...

I can always count on you for a good poop story, MB. :-)

Coincidentally, my word verify is "pubilia". Those are the special mementos you keep of your pubes.

Jackie said...

Glad I could be inspiring :)
When we switched Abigayle to formula, she got really constipated and I tried corn syrup, prune juice, and eventually a suppository to get things moving. I was never so happy to see a baby poop! After that, she had a poop schedule too - every 3 days. It was strange how predictable it was, usually right down to the time of day she was "due".

Austin's breastfed poops smelled bad too! I remember thinking maybe I should mention it to my Dr, in case something was wrong...but then decided that my Dr would just laugh at me - he'd think I was nuts for asking why my baby's poop smelled bad. Glad I wasn't the only one who thought of it!