Closes Eyes, Holds Nose, And Jumps Back In Head First

It feels like it's been at least a month since I made any sort of meaningful post here, but I see that it's only been 15 days. Not that the contents of my daughter's diaper are exceptionally meaningful in any sort of deep or existential way, but hey, we all fill our diapers one way or another if you know what I mean.

So the interview questions. As promised, I have a set of interview questions from Jim at Irregularly Periodic Ruminations (I'm going to borrow a trick from Petra AKA The Wise (*Young*) Mommy and just call it "IPR". BTW Petra also has an awesome blog so go check hers out too). I don't remember exactly which blog I was on when I stumbled onto IPR, but I found IPR way more entertaining than the one I had been on, and now I am happily stalking reading it as fast as he can update it.

Alright, shutting up already and Q&A arriving forthwith.

What is the bravest thing that you feel you've ever done? Physically, emotionally, or whatever.

This is a tough one, because the first thing that jumps to my head is childbirth on all counts. But it's something that almost every female does, or we'd be woefully short on humans right now. So it doesn't feel like such a uniquely brave act, although it made me feel very empowered on all levels at the time. Possibly because previously the most impressive physical act I'd achieved was falling rapidly down hills.

So, barring childbirth, I would say attending the death of my maternal Grandma. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but on the other hand it was a spiritually life-changing moment to be there holding her hand at the exact moment her soul left her body. She moved on with all of our family seeing her on her way to a much deserved rest. And I can honestly say that I could actually feel her life leave her body on some primal physical level that I could never explain. It was terrifying and agonizing to face someone else's mortality with them, realizing that one day I too will be in her shoes, but I would not trade the experience for anything.

What one talent do you wish you had that you don't?

This one's easy. I wish I was more physically able. I am not technically "disabled" and mean no disrespect to anyone who actually suffers from any true physical disability. But I am beyond clumsy. There is some basic disconnect in the wiring from my brain to my limbs. I have always envied the power of a gymnast, the grace of a ballerina, the confidence of other girls playing softball that simply knew that when they stretched out their arm to catch a ball, it would of course land there.

I, on the other hand, was always the one everyone fought over in Gym class.

"You take her."

"No YOU take her. I had her on my team last time."

We all have our reasons for blogging but what would be your ultimate goal for your blog or as a blogger?

My pipe dream is to have some fabulous wealthy publisher or editor stumble upon my blog and exclaim that I am the next Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry and throw piles of money at me to write a weekly piece on whatever the heck I want.

The reality is, my blog allows me to write, which is something I've always loved to do. It is a release of sorts; a private activity that no one can intrude upon, unlike using the toilet. If I can make people laugh or smile or cry while I do it, that would really be my ultimate realistic goal.

You can trade lives with any one person for a month. Who would it be and why?

I'm going to cheat and give two answers here. I can do that. Jim didn't send me the rules. Besides I'm not good at rules.

I've got an altruistic pick and a purely selfish one. On the selfish front, I would say someone fabulously wealthy, yet still relatively happy. Maybe Oprah? Or Melinda Gates? I've always had a soft spot for geeks, so Bill would suit me just fine.

My other pick would be Mother Teresa, although since she is not actually alive this could be inconvenient for me and a little bit of a one-sided trade. I don't choose her because I am a particularly religious person, but because I envy anyone that has that much certainty in their faith and a willingness to spend their lives helping everyone and anyone that needs it. And all while retaining a sense of humility and humor. One of my favorite quotes can be attributed to her. "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."

There's a fire and your family is safe but you have the chance to save any one item from your house. What would it be and why?

Without a doubt, my computer. I have so many irreplaceable photographs stored here it's ridiculous. Which reminds me I need to buy that external hard drive I've been meaning to get to back them up. It's a heck of a lot easier to lug THAT out of a fire.

You have the chance to go back in time and warn yourself before making a bad choice. What choice would it be and what would you tell yourself?

Ah, so many bad choices and so little opportunity to go back and change them!

Dear Self,

I know Slippery Rock University has just been named the Number Five Party School for 1987, but it is not your sole responsibility to maintain or improve that ranking. Please reconsider your assertion that the weekend actually begins on Thursday. And 8:00 a.m. classes are not optional. Just because a professor does not have a written attendance policy does not mean it wouldn't behoove you to attend once in a while. Dropping out is one of the stupidest things you will ever do. Believe it or not, someday you will deeply regret not enjoying the actual SCHOOL part of school. And whether or not he realizes it, you will always be grateful to your Dad for continuing to support your education and feel extremely guilty and sorry that you didn't hold up your end of the bargain.

Now get your ass out of bed, take some Tylenol and go to Biology class.

Sincerely,
Your Self