Monday, January 5, 2009

If Only ALL The Diaper Contents Came Wrapped In Plastic

Continuing the trend of a preference for junk food as opposed to actual FOOD, Meredith chose not to eat her lunch today.

Her lunch today was one of those Kid Cuisine meals. Heck they barely even qualify as real food. It's about as close as you can get to McDonald's in the comfort of your own home. If you have children already, you know that you may as well just go ahead and surrender to the ubiquitous chicken nugget. If you have no children, continue on swearing you will NEVER feed your child that crap. I promise to never say "I told you so" later.

Today, not even the chicken nuggets were acceptable. Instead she went straight for the low drawer where her Daddy keeps his stash of Hostess cupcakes. Why he insists on keeping them there I cannot explain. Unless he secretly wants to recruit a new addict.

I flatly refused to open it for her. Chicken nuggets may not be health food, but they definitely provide at least marginally more nutrition than a cupcake. This caused much weeping and wailing and screeching words at me, some of which were intelligible. I'd provide the translation but I think she used a lot of vulgar language, and I try to keep it clean here folks.

At 1:00 p.m. when neither of us had given up butting heads and proved that we were each equally as stubborn-willed, I ended the game by demonstrating that sometimes might does make right. I won the battle by simply scooping her up bodily and announcing it was time for a nap.

I noticed it was also time for a diaper change. Her diaper had reached that squishy consistency and was drooping somewhere around the vicinity of her knees.

However I didn't remember it ever being quite so......crackly.

Perhaps she was stashing the plastic wrapped cupcake in her pants to sustain herself during the long hard nap ahead.


Dani said...

LOL, Cassidy had chicken tenders for lunch. Her favorite food is hot dogs. I buy chicken, turkey and lil sausages, she probably has them at least at one meal a day. She is fussier than Zac was, but not nearly as fussy or stubborn as Meredith. Luckily, if all else fails, she'll usually let me feed her yogurt.

I don't find things in her diaper, but she does put things down her footed pjs . . . crayons seem to be a favorite.

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

I esp hated when single young pre-school teachers with time to fix their perfect hair would look at me disaprovingly when one of my kids would do something wrong. Some of them act like they know everything about kids because they have them for 8 hrs a day.
I used to think, "Girl, give me a call in 6 or 7 years when you have a few of your own and haven't slept for days. Then we'll talk"

My husband used to eat chocolate cupcakes every night before bed. He would try to sneak them before the dog or my youngest would hear the plastic rustling.
Too funny.

Kim said...

Again, your Meredith is very much like my little one! K wanted a cookie for breakfast - uh, even I draw the limits at that, and I'm pretty tolerable. She's been refusing more and more foods, and it's starting to make me crazy, but I'm hoping it's just a toddler phase. Her sister, 7, has yet to outgrow her pickiness, thus the reason for my worry!

Irishembi said...

Dani - Meredith does seem to have inherited the stubbornness gene from, oh, I don't know where. :-)

Eileen - I always tell people to call me back after they've gotten a little poop under their fingernails. And all my kids seem to have some sort of built in radar for their Dad's plastic covered snacks. I think they can hear it from the basement.

Kim I wish I knew what to tell you. My 7 year old is *better* but still a very picky eater! If you find a solution clue me in!

Heinous said...

Sneaky. Very impressive if a bit ill conceived.

P.S. Let me know where you want me to send the interview questions if you're interested.

screamish said...

just hit the first track on soundtrack of your life...Howard Jones noone is to blame!! i havent heard that for like TEN years!! so cool!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

hahaha, too funny. My daughter has been pulling this lately too and it has been a battle of wills in our house. I have been losing, unfortunately.

Miles said...

Hilarious. I never had that "I'll never feed my kids that crap" philosophy. Sadly, I STILL like McDonald's "chicken" nuggets (I'm not talking about the new and improved chicken selects either...the 6 for a buck mystery chicken pieces...yum). Miles is so out of luck in the nutrition category. Thank goodness Ted is the SAHD. There is at least some hope!