I Guess This Makes Me The Goose That Laid That Egg

Anyone who has a child knows what a loooooong drawn out process bedtime can be. There's always one more drink of water, one more story, one more kiss, one more hug. Wait, I don't like these pajamas I think I'll put on the Princess/Batman/Kitty-Cat/Dinosaur/Fuzzy/Silky/Footed/Not footed ones. Hold on I need to pee. I was wrong I need to poop. Mama I'm not wearing a pull-up tonight - I can sleep with big boy undies.

Actually I'm grateful when he tells me this. Usually he tries to sneak it with disastrous consequences later. I am not the kindest person when roused from sleep to change an entire bed that's been doused with 3 gallons of pee.

But if you take the above process and times it by three, well, it can easily take until next Friday to put my kids to bed on a Monday.

To facilitate the bedtime routine and light a fire under their asses we try to make games of the different steps in the process. There is no prize for the winner, but so far we have them hoodwinked into thinking just being declared the winner is good enough.

One of their favorites is "Whoever gets into their pajamas first is the Golden Egg." They race into their pajamas to achieve the coveted "Golden Egg" title. Because if you're not the Golden Egg, you're the Rotten Egg. Don't tell me about damaging their psyches. I've got internet surfing to do and need to get them into bed before I can do it.

Yesterday around 3:30 p.m. Jamie disappeared upstairs. I don't question the disappearance of the boy until I hear crashing noises or flushing accompanied by the dreaded "Uh-oh."

He reappeared 5 minutes later in his pajamas. When I asked him why he was in his pajamas already (not that I had a problem with this, I'm pretty sure I hadn't yet gotten out of my pajamas) he replied, "I'm the first one to get my pajamas on so I'm the Golden Egg. Pretty smart huh?"

Yes my little man. Very smart indeed.