Saturday, November 29, 2008

Monsters - They're Not Just Eating Cookies Anymore

The other day when Meredith and I got up in the morning she accompanied me to the bathroom. This is a regular occurrence. In fact, I'm not certain my bladder can perform its duty without one or more pairs of eyes watching. You've heard of "shy bladder"? My bladder is an attention whore.

As I moved to wash my hands in the sink I said to Meredith in my usual happy sing-song-y voice that I use to narrate our day, "Did you see that little monster come up here to see us?"

I was referring of course to Hermione, AKA Kitten of Doom.

But Meredith responded by opening her eyes wide with fear and sidling up to my leg and latching on with a death grip, and quietly, but clearly said for the first time that I know of, "Scared."

I wasn't certain if it was the word "monster" that had caused this reaction or if it was possibly the actual kitten. God knows she scares me when my bare feet are exposed to her guerrilla warfare tactics.

Since my mind is like a steel sieve, by that evening I had opportunity to use the word monster with her again and find out. This time I was changing her diaper and she was happily chattering away and playing with a wipey. Again it was the cat that inspired me to say, "Here comes the little monster to see you!"

I didn't know a toddler could levitate off a changing table.

I did my best to point out the kitten, and she saw her, and acknowledged her, but frantically looked in all directions to see when and where this OTHER monster might be coming from.

I couldn't figure out exactly how she would have learned to associate the word monster with anything other than a friendly blue Muppet that devours cookies and the occasional letter of the day. And then I hearkened back to the days of Jamie's toddlerdom. When his big sister would regale him with tales at night of the monsters that lived under his bed and in his closet, ensuring chaos at bedtime and effectively procrastinating actual bedtime.

I must remember to thank Jamie for passing on the tradition of education in the art of nightmare induction.


Norkio said...

Well at least you have older siblings to blame. Melody became afraid of diapers and ghosts all by herself...or maybe her dad is to blame?

Lisa said...

"My bladder is an attention whore" I think has to be one of the most hilarious sentences I have ever read. Saying it out loud makes it even more hilarious.

I'd like to say Poor Meredith!! I was always afraid of monsters and still am in fact (the movie The Ring still haunts me all the time). Not fun being scared like that!! My older brother also had a lot to do with why I am such a scaredy cat. Nice. He once hid under my bed until I went to sleep so that he could grab my leg. I have never screamed so loud. And I am still not over that either. I was 8.

And did I miss something about the Kitten of Doom...I thought Jamie was allergic and she was going to be evicted??

Dani said...

Awww poor Meredith. Zachary delights in terrorizing Cassidy but she loves it, at Halloween Zac paraded around in every scary mask that we have collected over the years. Cassidy would cringe and say in a deep voice "ZACHARYYYYYYYY", but then run up and give him a hug. Hopefully, she'll enjoy watching horror movies with the rest of us.

That's what big brothers are for! ;-)

katiebear said...

Poor Meredith!!

And I agree, your attention whore bladder is one of the funniest things i've heard in awhile!

Irishembi said...

Lisa - Jamie is allergic to the Kitten of Doom and her fate is still being debated. She is loved here but of course we want to do what's best for Jamie. So far his allergy symptoms have remained occasional itchy watery eyes and stuffy nose as opposed to not being able to breathe, and treated easily enough with Zyrtec. But since we haven't found anyone to take her, she remains ours by default.